For those of us who have been through a lot you probably hear the phrases “you poor thing”, “I’m so sorry”, or “I had no idea” pretty frequently. I know that people are truly sorry or they really did have no idea but after a while statements like this start to bring me down. You can tell that people have your best interest at heart when they say things like that but there are more positive things we can say. For example you could tell someone “I had no idea, but you are so strong and so brave”.
When you are constantly going from doctor to doctor, having different procedures, and not knowing what is going to happen next,
I it’s hard to find ways to stay positive. To hear someone say “I know it’s tough, but you are so strong. You are truly an inspiration” can have the biggest impact on someone’s day. Changing up a few words when speaking to someone can make them have the courage to continue their fight.
A few years ago I met a gem of a human and her name is Lakyn. We met through a mutual friend who thought we would be good friends because I had gone through my fair share of tough times when I was younger and Lakyn was just a few months away from having a brain tumor removed.
As soon as I saw her, I looked into her eyes and told her she was going to be okay. She had a look in her eyes that she had been trying so hard to be strong for so long but just needed to hear that she was going to be okay and be able to believe it. Lakyn and I bawled our eyes out the very first day we met each other and we haven’t stopped crying that hard around each other. Leading up to her surgery, we developed a bond unlike any other. It was like we had known each other our whole lives, but we had only known each other a few months. Not long after her 18th birthday, she had a brain tumor removed and I swear, in that moment, she was the most courageous person I’ve ever seen.
I think that she and I both knew that we had to tell each other every so often how brave we thought each other was, how strong we knew we were, and how we knew each other was going to be okay. Simple words that helped us encourage each other was a small step in changing the conversation.
Even if you say “I’m so sorry to hear what you’ve been going through, but you are so inspiring” is a small step in helping to encourage others. Every positive phrase will resonate with a person more than we can ever imagine.
“I hope you know you’re capable and brave and significant. Even when it feels like you’re not.”
Until next time,